Flipping Fairies

Have you paid any attention to children's television lately? I'll admit, we watch too much of it. And it's starting to get under my skin. Anything that's not marketed to the 3 and under set is ... well... kind of outrageous when you think about it. And I do think about it, sometimes. I know a lot has been written about this topic; I've read some of it over the years. It's really hitting home now, though, as I see what my girls are absorbing.

For example, what is wrong with this picture?



It's worse when you realize that the mythology of these fairies says that a fairy is born when a baby laughs. Then why the impractical, overly sexual clothing, folks? And why is there a focus on pairing up with the boys in the latest movie? They don't need to pair up.

Lately, NickJr has been promoting Winx dolls, which seemed cute, so we watched an episode tonight.



Egads! These are worse bodies than Barbie has! This show is marketed to the 7-10 year old crowd. I told DH that we won't be putting this into the regular rotation.

Since I don't see us curing ourselves of our TV addition any time soon, I would like to find some shows or movies that present somewhat normal looking girls who aren't looking -- or dressed -- for a hook up. Suggestions?

Post #99

I realized yesterday that I've been neglecting my blog again. I just don't have much to report. I'm not crafting at all these days, although I want to be. Baseball's not in season. The girls are keeping me busy. My spare time is currently devoted to finishing an article I started writing last spring. The drop-dead due date is February 2, so I'm under pressure to get the final revisions done. This is definitely a case where "good enough" will have to prevail, because I don't have the time to do all the recommended revisions. Sigh. I'm also wasting time over on Twitter. Who knew that 140 words could create such a big time drain? Ah, well.

My next post will be #100. I'm thinking about doing something special. Stay tuned.

One Year Ago

A year ago, I started blogging. Yes, I set up the blog in October, but I didn't really start using it until Christmas Day. To commemorate the event, here is a picture of our Christmas tree this year.

If you look closely in the middle towards the bottom, you'll see the Washington Nationals ornament I made and showcased in that first post. What you won't see are any of the ornaments I made for the Brides Tree SAL. Ornamentification awaits.



Our tree features an eclectic mix of ornaments that were handmade by family and friends over the years and ones that DH and I collected as we lived and travelled around the world. The spire on top was my grandmother's and dates from the 1950s or 1960s, I think. I made the tree skirt a couple of years ago. (That's our cat lurking on the bottom left. Both of our cats like to nap under the tree.)

Happy Christmas to those who celebrate it and a Peaceful New Year to All.

Card Types

I have lunch at work with the same group of friends just about every day I'm there. We often have lively discussions, about a wide range of topics. We're an opinionated bunch.

One of the hot topics last year around this time was on Christmas and seasonal holiday cards. Some of us preferred more traditional cards, others photo cards, and others combinations. I have strong preferences on this.

Before I give you my opinion, I thought I'd ask for yours. I've set up a poll in my sidebar. I've made it an exclusive choice, so pick the kind you like the most. I won't hold you to it, I promise. Please leave me a comment about your choice, if you'd like.

What I hate most are the ones that are commercially printed (what I labelled "pre-printed" in the poll) where people (not businesses) have also had their names pre-printed and include nothing personal at all in them - not even a signature. Why bother?

Pretty Pink Princesses

I'm still not stitching or doing any other crafting. I'm just trying to keep my head above water with caring for the girls and keeping up with the house. Fortunately, the girls are thriving at 14 weeks, and our au pair has arrived. I'm starting to get some regular sleep. Yeah!

This post has been in my head since August. I knew when I found out in April that I was having girls that I was in for a world of pink. I very actively told my friends and family that I hate pink to limit the amount of pink stuff I received. It worked pretty well - I have enough clothing to dress the girls so that one is in pink and one is in not-pink. Why is it that our society feels compelled to dress little girls so extensively in pink? There's a whole spectrum of colors out there that should be explored and embraced. I'm amused when we go out that nearly everyone asks if the babies are boys unless I've dressed them almost totally in pink. A friend of mine thinks it's the short hair that triggers this question as much of the clothing.

The other thing I didn't notice until I had girls of my own is the cute sayings that are imprinted on children's clothes. Do we have to label our children as cute from day one? Anyway, I find it a little disturbing that the girls' phrases tend to focus on beauty - pretty this, cute that. I'm not sure what to think about the professional labels. I can live with "pretty ballerina". The one I find truly upsetting is "future princess". Think about this for a minute. How does one become a princess? One is either born to it or one marries the prince. So from birth, we as a society have decided it's OK to tell our girls that the only thing they need to aspire to is capturing the prince. Scary!

Community Property

When you have twins, your life is no longer quite your own. I've heard this is true for all new moms, but I can only relay my own experiences.

I officially became a person of community interest at the beginning of my third trimester. Almost overnight -- and with the help of the onset of DC's sweltering humidity -- I went from being "slightly" pregnant in appearance to "ready to pop". People I'd never seen before would ask me all sorts of questions. While some of the questions were rather personal, at least no one tried to touch the belly. Most of the time the question was, "When are you due?" I received a lot of strange looks when I said, "Labor Day," until I explained that I was carrying twins.

I think I dealt with this invasion of my personal space fairly well and with good humor. It was good practice for what was to come.

Once the girls arrived, we became a bit of a spectacle. Now there was even more interest in us -- well, them really. The double stroller definitely attracts attention. No where do we draw more attention than in medical facilities.

For example, we've had a couple of routine appointments at the Washington Hospital Center. WHC in particular serves an elderly crowd. We discovered on these visits that older people adore babies and are particularly fascinated with twins. I think that the elderly have an appreciation for new life that those of us who are younger haven't developed yet. Anyway, it takes us 10 minutes to walk a normally 2 minute distance because we are asked to stop so people can admire the babies.

All of this makes me half curious and half fearful. What's going to happen if and when the girls begin looking more noticeably like the identical twins they are?

TV is back!

O Happy Day!

You know, since I complained about it, that I was distraught over the lack of TV last spring. Fortunately, baseball started and began to occupy my time. Too bad the Nationals weren't so hot this year. After the girls were born, it was the Olympics and America's Got Talent for the summer. I am quite relieved that regular TV is back on track, since I spend most of my time these days holding and feeding babies. Unlike Martha Sears, I can't entertain myself for hours on end gazing adoringly at the little ones or appreciate the retreat-like aspects of feeding time. My girls are wonderful, but I need something more stimulating than staring at a feeding baby. It's too bad that I can't type or surf and feed babies at the same time. I need an extra arm or four.

Time to run - DDA needs feeding and DDL is about to wake up.

Re-reading a Classic

Last night, I couldn't get to sleep. I think it was the excitement of besting JAL in Word Twist finally. So I did what I usually do - I read for a while. After I finished one of the books* I'd been working on for a while, I was still wide awake. At that point, I went looking for a comfort read, something I'd read numerous times before and therefore would be less likely to be sucked in completely since I knew how it ended.

I ended up with A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle. I first read this when I was in the 6th grade and immediately fell in love with her universe. It also launched me into reading not only the rest of her books, but the Narnia series and many other classics of children's and young adult literature. These are books I continue to love to read. They bring back that sense of wonder and adventure that meant so much to me during my early teen years. (Yes, I needed to escape, even if it was just into a book.)

Over the years, I've continued to read children's and young adult novels. When I was in my library science program, I took a Children's Literature class, which was fabulous and connected me to some new authors. Unfortunately, since then, many of my books have been in storage due to the house renovations. I haven't had the opportunity to revisit many of my favorites. Plus, other than the Harry Potter books, I haven't found newer books that appeal to me as much. I think it's just that I'm experiencing them for the first time as an adult.

Be that as it may, it's been a delight to re-read Wrinkle. Since it's a short book, I was able to finish it this morning. It reminds me of the lost arts of both concise writing and good editing for many books that make it to market today. I think of it as being a timeless story, but I wonder if that remains true. When do the childhoods portrayed in all my favorite books become dated because they don't reflect the modern, technological world? Can you imagine From the Mixed-up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler by E.L. Konigsburg happening today?

* I finished A House in Corfu by Emma Tennant. I'd give it a score of 3.5 out of 5. There were occasionally great descriptions of Corfu, Greek food, etc., which is why I wanted to read the book, but for a memoir, it was strangely detached. I think this may be due to the house being her parents' rather than Emma's. She wasn't the one struggling with the day-to-day challenges of building and maintaining a house as an ex-pat.

Baking or Cooking

I haven't been stitching much or working on anything else that lends itself to pictures lately. I've mostly been working on getting our kitchen in order and moving stuff back into other rooms in our house. Not terribly exciting or blog-worthy.

We did have some friends over for an Independence Day lunch. Nothing like some beef ribs and broccoli slaw to say "Happy 4th", especially when followed by a homemade strawberry-rhubarb pie. Yum.

Which leads me to my question: Do you prefer to bake or cook? Or do you prefer some other method of food preparation altogether?

I'm a baker. If I'm going to fuss with food prep, I want something substantial at the end. Stove top cooking just doesn't get me there most of the time. I'm also sort of a one-bowl and one-pan sort of person. I don't want to end up with a whole lot of bowls or pots dirty at the end, and I seem to be better able to control this when baking. If I do need to cook, I prefer to grill or throw things into a crockpot. It's just easier.

Footwear - Part 2

An interesting recent post featuring Posh Spice and flip-flops from another blog.
http://poppisima.blogspot.com/2008/06/mamarazzi-cross-post-posh-flip-flops.html

Suits

Today's fashion topic - Suits!

The weather here in DC has been brutally hot the past week - in the mid-90s with high humidity. We had thunderstorms the other night that lowered both the temp and the humidity, but not by much.

Today, my hubby is giving a presentation at work, which meant wearing a full suit. Undershirt, dress shirt, wool-blend suit, etc. You get the idea. While I'll admit that he looks nice in a suit and that this is an occasion that calls for one, I continue to wonder at our culture's adherance to tradition. Is it *really* appropriate to expect people to wear full dress suits in the middle of summer? (And don't get me started on full-length hosiery for women.)

Planet Green was running a commercial over the weekend about how dressing more appropriately is more environmentally friendly, because then we can all adjust the A/C to a higher temperature rather than having to chill to accomodate business wear. While their method of displaying this was a bit extreme (two people naked as jaybirds, talking with one person dressed in business wear, complete with sweater vest), their point was one that I've often considered.

What are your thoughts on this?

Footwear

Let me start by saying that I'm a proud member of GenX and wholeheartedly believe in a casual workplace. I generally think that suits, hose, and closed-toe-shoes are not necessary to accomplishing one's work.

Lately, though, I find myself becoming more of an old fogey. Nothing brings this out more strongly then the recent trends in footwear. Crocs belong in the garden or in the mud, not in the office (and especially not on escalators). Flip flops belong in the shower or on the beach, not in the office. Flip flops -- and no, I don't care how fancy they are -- drive me to particular distraction because I can hear them slapping down the hallway.

Plastic shoes belong only in places where they're likely to get wet. Otherwise, leave them at home!

What do you think? Is there a current fashion trend that's offending your sensibilities?

Memorial Day

Today is the observance of Memorial Day here in the U.S.A. It is the more somber of the two patriotic holidays celebrated on a wide scale. The other, of course, being Independence Day.

Memorial Day, or Decoration Day, was started to remember those who died in service to their country, which at the time meant as a participant in a war. It has been expanded beyond military service to include various forms of civic service, and, I think, many people use it as a time to remember any who have gone before us.

I grew up in a very small town. Memorial Day was always a big deal. My grandparents and parents belonged to the American Legion Post in our town (one of two active social organizations). I spent a lot of time selling paper poppies (in remembrance of Flanders Field) in middle and high schools.

The big event was the town parade and memorial service. The parade was fairly short, in both distance and length. The marchers completed an eight block circuit. The participants were the Legionnaires, any active duty service members home for the weekend, boy scouts, girl scouts, high school marching band, and volunteer firefighters.

The first time I took my now-spouse home to meet my parents was over Memorial Day weekend. I think he was both bemused and touched by our small town celebration.

After the parade, those gathered would move from the center of town to the cemetery on the outskirts of town for the memorial service. It was a simple ceremony that lasted a short time. It always ended with a trumpeter from the high school marching band who was hidden from sight playing Taps. It was eerie and moving at the same time.

My family would then proceed to my grandfather's grave in our own personal remembrance activity. Mom and grandma had usually placed an urn of geraniums, other flowers, and a flag a couple of days before. While Grandpa was a WWII vet, he didn't die during the war or from injuries sustained during the war. It was just our way of marking the day.

I don't remember ever travelling as a kid on Memorial Day, unless it was into the city to visit the graves of other relatives. We'd usually go home and have a picnic, sometimes with neighbors or cousins. While I have at times participated in the great migration, I usually think of the day as a time for reflection and picnics.

Wherever you are, I hope that you are enjoying your day, and if you so choose, think about your ancestors, particularly those who have served their country in some capacity.

P.S. While writing this, my sister called from Iraq. She's there on active duty. It's such a reassurance to be able to contact her via email and to hear her when she can call. I can't imagine what it was like for family members in the past, when they had to wait weeks or months to get news from those serving in the wars.

Constructive criticism works best

Those of you who are paying attention may have noticed that I have an interest in how organizations work, particularly in organizational communication. I recently came across this article, which I thought might be of interest to others. Click through for the full article.

Dishing it out
from http://saqonline.smith.edu/article.epl?issue_id=18&article_id=1837

Constructive criticism works best, so think before you speak

The way we deal with criticism can say a lot about our personalities. Brock Hansen, MSW '73, author of Shame and Anger: The Criticism Connection (Change for Good Press, 2006), believes that you can live a more emotionally intelligent and healthy life if you know how to accept criticism. But the way in which you criticize others can be just as important. Following are some of Hansen's tips to soften the blow and increase your chance of communicating effectively.

Do you Comment?

About the time I started this blog, I also set myself up with an RSS feed account. In my case, I'm using Google Reader. I like the convenience of Reader, as it allows me to read many more blogs than I might check on a daily basis.

The downside to Reader is that I comment less on other blogs. That extra step it takes seems to be just enough of a hurdle to me. Unless I feel somewhat strongly about what you've written, I'm not likely to comment. In fact, if I know your email address, I'm more likely to send you a message. I know, it's a bit bizarre.

How about you? Do you subscribe to RSS feeds? Has that changed the way you interact with blogs?

Communicating at Work

As a follow up to my post about how to run a meeting, I point you in the direction of 10 Tools to Rev Up Your Business and Personal Communication. I found it very interesting.

When will the TV schedule be back on track?

All fall, I was glued to my TV. I usually don't get sucked into new series until they're at least a season or two old. This year was the exception. We were watching many a new show in the fall line up. There was something on just about every night that we wanted to watch. Granted a lot of these were in the science fiction and fantasy category, shows that often don't make it past a season or two anyway, but still...

All I wanted for Christmas this year was a DVR, which I received. The poor thing has barely been used.

I've not seen a new episode of any of our favorites from the fall yet. We've half-heartedly watched both episodes of Canterbury Law so far, only because they're new and there's nothing else on. I've seen all of the movies I'm interested in that are being offered on cable this month. I've been sick for over a week now. My head hurts too much for reading or stitching for any length of time. All I want to do is veg on my couch in front of the TV with 500 channels AND THERE'S NOTHING ON!!!!

When, oh when, will my TV be normal again? Please, oh please, let it be soon.

Impatience

This morning as I drove to work, I was given "the bird" for not running a late yellow light through a messy and dangerous intersection. Just after I noticed the gesture, I also noticed the lights of the police car behind the offending person. Then tonight I nearly was rear-ended as I tried to parallel park in front of my house, despite having my turning signal and brake lights on.

Both of today's incidences reminded me of something that happened a couple of weeks ago. That morning I woke up to the unmistakable sound of a car bumper crunching. This sound happens all too frequently near my house, as I live on a major commuter street into downtown DC.

The story that morning was the same as it usually is. A commuter driving down a side street, attempting to get across the inbound traffic lane, forgot to check the outbound lane for traffic. (The other variation on this is that the driver on the cross street thinks that the main drag of traffic also has a stop sign, which it doesn't. Shortly after the accident I'm describing, the city finally installed signs reminding drivers of this fact.)

In this case, the damage was limited to the cars of the two drivers who collided. In the past, I've seen wrought-iron fences and trees taken out. There's one corner a couple of blocks down, with a traffic light mind you, where the fence has been hit several times. The worst case of property damage that I've seen was the house that had it's front corner knocked askew. I've not witnessed anybody being gravely injured so far, but I know it could happen and worry that it will.

I reverse commute. Even with the lighter traffic load, there are places where I too become frustrated (like the dangerous intersection mentioned at the top of this post). When I see accidents like the one, it reminds me to slow down and be more careful. It's not worth the risk to me or my car to save an extra minute because I'm impatient.

Rules for Meetings

One of my big pet peeves is poorly run meetings. There's really no excuse for not running a good meeting. In my last job, I received kudos for holding efficient meetings. I was really surprised, because all I did was follow a few basic rules, but it was a novelty in that organization.

I just sat in on a conference call for a volunteer group to which I belong. This group has been hit or miss in the past on whether it's a good meeting or a poke-my-eye-out-with-a-stick meeting. Tonight it was mostly on target, but it's what made me think to post.

In case you're wondering, here is my version of the rules for running a good meeting.

1. Have a leader and a secretary. They must be two different people. One's job is to lead the meeting, the other's is to take notes. One person cannot do both jobs effectively, and it's distracting to the participants to watch the leader taking notes.

2. Have a focused agenda and distribute it ahead of time. Let everyone know what you're there to accomplish. Include who's going to address each topic if that's appropriate. If it's going to be a long meeting or have many topics, assign time limits. In the meeting, follow the agenda and stick to the timeline. Yes, there will be tangents, but it's easier to bring everyone back to the main topic by saying, "We only have two more minutes to discuss XYZ." Don't be afraid to end the meeting early if you're finished. I hate when people will insist on filling the remaining allotted time for no good reason.

3. Know when to take something "off-line" and when it's important enough to the business at hand to warrant adding it to the agenda. This is especially critical when someone is trying to be a barrier. And if things are deteriorating, stop the meeting and reconvene at a different time. Do this once or twice and the inconvenience factor will help keep things more settled in the future. When you do add something to the agenda, make sure you're clear on what may need to be tabled to free up the appropriate amount of time.

4. Follow up. Make sure the minutes and any action items or assignments are distributed quickly. I can't begin to tell you how annoyed I get when I get the minutes from last month two days before this month's meeting, especially when I find in the middle of page four that I've been tasked to do something. Also check with participants to see how things are going and if they need any clarification of or assistance with their tasks.

What do you see in effective meetings? What drives you nuts in bad ones?

Small Joys

For almost a decade now, I've been proud to call myself a Washingtonian. And, yes, I do live in DC proper. In fact, I live on Capitol Hill. DC has changed a lot in the past 20 years, and it's not the scary place it once was.

For me, one of the great joys of living on Capitol Hill is that I get to see the Capitol building on a daily basis. Nearly every day, particularly on my way home from work, as I approach the hill, I have a great view. It gives me a small thrill every time, even on days when I'm not thrilled with what our politicians are doing. To me, it's a symbol of a government that's managed to hold itself together and accomplish important things for over 200 years.

Growing up, I never thought about where I would live as an adult. I grew up in a rural area where the only large landmarks were the water and TV towers. It's surprises me still that this is where I ended up, but I'm very happy that this is where I am now.

What are the small, unexpected joys in your life?